Pearl Jam and baseball

So the World Series starts Wednesday, and it involves two things that have been on my all-time favorites list at some point in my life: Pearl Jam and the Boston Red Sox.  You’d think I’d be really excited about that, but I don’t think I’ve actually watched a baseball game since the last time the Red Sox won the World Series, and besides our only TV is in a closet somewhere.  But just for fun, I thought it would be interesting to decide which Pearl Jam songs would be appropriate for various parts of the Baseball Game.

Alive: when one team is in the midst of a rally against the other team’s closer.

Porch: whenever they show those old guys in the dugout spitting.

Deep: whenever there’s a particularly long home run.

Stupid Mop: when the cleanup hitter is batting.

Go: when someone steals a base.

Why Go: when someone gets caught stealing.

Off he Goes: when David Ortiz tries to steal a base.

Release: whenever the announcers are take a long time to analyze a particular pitch.

Glorified G: whenever the bases are loaded.

Better Man: every time there’s a pinch hitter.

Corduroy: whenever there’s a rain delay.

Rearviewmirror: whenever there’s an instant replay that doesn’t really count.

Whipping: when the Red Sox hit five or more home runs and beat the Cardinals by 11.

Last Exit: when they show that talking head in front of the stadium at the end of the game.

Push me, pull me: when there’s a bench clearing brawl.

Leash: when one player holds another player back trying to prevent a bench clearing brawl.

Mind your manners: whenever an umpire tries to prevent a bench clearing brawl.

Given to Fly: when an inning ends with a pop up.

Faithfull: maybe if they’d made this deal before the last time these two teams met in the World Series it would have made sense, now they’ll have to wait until the Cubs win it all.

Wishlist: seven days after the last game when Scott Boras starts working.

Feel free to add your own in the comments.  And if anyone watches the World Series, let me know how many of my predictions come true.

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